Summary of the period

Bein HaMetzarim (“between the straits”, Lamentations 1:3: “all her pursuers overtook her between the straits”) is the three weeks from 17 Tamuz to Tisha BeAv. It is a period of mourning for the destruction of the Temple, which grows more intense as we approach Tisha BeAv. From Rosh Chodesh Av until after the Ninth of Av are called the Nine Days.

Mitzvot and customs of the period

• No weddings and no dancing, and reduced joy.
• No Shehecheyanu on a new garment or new fruit.
• No haircuts and no shaving (according to various customs).
• The Nine Days (from Rosh Chodesh Av): no meat and no wine (except on Shabbat and at a mitzvah celebration), no laundry and no new clothes, and no building for pleasure. In Sephardic communities the custom is to be stricter from Rosh Chodesh Av, and in some places only in the week in which the Ninth of Av falls.
• Three haftarot of rebuke on the three Shabbatot (see above).
• Learning about the destruction of the Temple and its causes, such as the laws of the Chosen House.

Origin in history

The Three Weeks begin on the day Jerusalem’s walls were breached (17 Tamuz) and end on the day the Temple was burned (9 Av), both the First by Nebuchadnezzar and the Second by Titus. The period was recognized as a time of mourning in the Geonic period, and the customs of the Nine Days developed from there (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 551).

The message for today

The Sages said that the Second Temple was destroyed because of baseless hatred (Yoma 9b). The Three Weeks are the time to examine where there is hatred or evil speech among us, and turn them into connection. The customs are not a cult of sadness but a way of giving room to grief, so that we may later rejoice in building.